Edwin Drake Peary

[Captain Peary]

MARINE

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(EDWIN DRAKE PEARY)[/font]
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[/b] 24
✘ SEX: Male
✘ RACE: Human
✘ STATUS: Single/straight
✘ POSITION: Captain
✘ MAJOR: Haste, Heart
✘ MINOR: Power, Intelligence
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DARK MAHOGANY BROWN, ISLAMIC GREEN

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(SIX FOOT ONE, ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY THREE )[/font]
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Edwins physical stature can be described as average on many levels, but going into details you can see the specifics. A height not above the ordinary, for a man, traits his body. A muscle structure which is virtually nonthreatening, as is exactly what he is. His skin, not tainted by scars, tattoos or any kind of body art, is a signature of his nationality. With a palely tanned contrast, marking his birthplace to have been in the northern region of the northern subtropic belt. Edwins eyes are a distinct Islamic green color. And his hair, reaching him to his chin, is carrying a dark mahogany brown color. It is cut exactly short enough to not annoy him in brawl. When he walks, he walks with determination, his back straight, and his feet moving in a specific tact. When sitting down he is way more laid back. His facial expression is mostly the same. Slightly lazy eyes, while his mouth curved slightly upward in a smile. His white teeth should not be left unmentioned, as he brushes them after each meal, without exception, and puts Flossing high on his “To do list”. His Nose is small and straight, and his ears, concealed by his hair, are very small, and unfitting to his body. His Hands are relatively large compared to his arms, thus fitting his fist combat perfectly.
✘ CLOTHING:
-A black Kimono, with a white pattern resembling spiraling branches
-Red Haori, reaching to his hip
-Standard black Marine Pants
-Standard Black shoes


Edwin has the black kimono, modified by himself to only go to his waist. fitting around his body loosely, so most of his chest is exposed, the kimono is hold together by a black silk string, tied around his waist. The White Captain Jacket, fitting loosely on his shoulders to be of the least significance in appearance. compared to other jackets it is in a slightly finer fabric, more like silk, but the same design. His black pants fitting exactly on his waist, the upper part lapsing with the kimono.
✘ SIGNATURE:
Three rings on his left hand, all three are pure silver, with a blank surface. No artwork done on them.

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CEASE YER TOMFOOLERY

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( THIS CANDY GIVE ME COURAGE NOT TO FEAR NO ONE
TO FEAR NO PAIN, AND HEAR NO TONGUE )[/font]
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-Summer
-Winter
-Rum
-Lobster
-Women
-Karaoke
-Large gatherings
-South Blue
-The Admirals
-Being on the open sea
-Finding a pirate with a high bounty
-Snow
-Sea-elephants
-Silver
-His hair
-Birthdays
-Mizu mizu meat
✘ DISLIKES:
-Fall
-Flies
-Impel Down
-Enies Lobby
-Stormy weather
-Running
-Yellow
-Cleaning
-Dancing
-The sea train
-Dunes
-Sea kings
-Rain
-Shichibukai

✘ POSITIVE TRAITS:
-Optimistic
-Intelligent
-Friendly
-Loyal
-Adventurous
✘ NEGATIVE TRAITS:
-Naive
-Pushy
-Adventurous
-Rashness
-Bad leadership
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Nutcracker Peary

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(OKITA SOUJI, HAKUOUKI SHINSENGUMI KITAN)[/font]
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✘ ITEMS:
Marti: His faithful teddy, it is brown and fuzzy, a Longer neck than most teddy's and a longer head than most bears.
✘ WEAPONS:
Scale: A pair of fingerless brown leather gloves, the back enforced with a plate of stainless steel, capable of blocking a sword strike.
✘ SKILLS:

B-b-b-breaker:
When Edwin is attacked from the front in close combat, with blinding speed he kneels down, and blocks said attack with his backhand. The moment the force of the attack stops, he counters by slamming his other hand down on the attacking limb, and in tact with that, stands up.
It can be used in two ways

A armed attacker:
If the attacker is armed, with a Katana or another weapon with a reach not too big. The steel plates of Scales block the sword, and the attack lands on the hand of the opponent. By the upward going movement he intends to disarm the opponent, which should succeed, unless countered in any way.

Unarmed Attacker:
When the attacker isn't armed, and attacking with any limb of his body, the same technique can be used. Blocking the attack and countering by knocking down on it, and rushing up, would normally break the bone of whoever it is used on, and there lays the attention as well, though it might not always go that way.

This technique utilizes the "Mayor" of Haste, and "Minor" of Power

The eye of the storm:
If Edwin is in a pinch, with no chance of Dodging, or just feeling like it. He will utilize the intelligence granted to him from birth, to calculate the power of a attack, and then calculating where exactly it is the weakest. He will then proceed to jump straight into the attack, with no fear. Meeting it halfway, and thus be damaged half as much as intended. This he calls “Jumping into the eye of the storm”. This technique utilizes the “mayor” of heart, and the “minor” of intelligence.

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[Captain Peary]

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ABILITY TYPE

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( ABILITY TRANSLATED )[/font]
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✘ LEVEL:
✘ DESCRIPTION:

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[MOUSE]

Just a few formalities first, if you could replace the HTML justify code with the Unicode version that would be super. That's the "<div align="justify">" which would be replaced with [*Justify] [*/justify]

For your hair and eye color as well as your physical description I think you mean emerald green in place of Islamic green since "Islamic" is only an adjective when describing a persons religion. I would also suggest adding a marines coat to your apparel since every captain in OP seems to wear one.

In your personal quote you've written "seize yer tomfoolery"; seize should be replaced with "cease". It's one of those they're/their, whether/weather type of things.

In your items section you've said his teddy looks like something from real life [ which I had to google lol ] but we would like no references to the real world since our real world does not exist in one piece.

Nutcracker, I would like you to physically go threw the motions of what you described as far as the actual counter attack goes. That is a very awkward position to attack someone in; I personally wouldn't see this being a very effective skill/attack/counter just because it leaves you very open and is so awkward to do. However if that's the skill you want to go with then here are the things that you would need to alter for it. Instead of saying he dodges the attack this move should be a counter to the attack. So he's not dodging it, he's attacking what he's being attacked with.

Eye of the storm, take out "Edwins “Heart”, is a mayor part of his personality. As soon as he steps into a fight, he is 100% there, and his body, whether cut, bruised or crushed will keep on. He has never met an attack worthy of his fear, and that is the essence of this technique. When a person throws a punch, or slices with his weapon, it is the moment where the attack is supposed to connect that is the strongest." None of that has anything to do with the actual skill and the last part may or may not be true about an attack depending on what kind of attack it is.

[Captain Peary]

The Justify is not a problem anymore.

Although Islamic green is a actual color, I changed it to Emerald as I realized it might offend someone. I also switched the Haori out with a jacket. This is exactly what I wrote:

"The White Captain Jacket, fitting loosely on his shoulders to be of the least significance in appearance. compared to other jackets it is in a slightly finer fabric, more like silk, but the same design."

Changed to "Seize" to "Cease", sorry I didn't see it in the first place.

I changed marti to this:

"Marti: His faithful teddy, it is brown and fuzzy, a Longer neck than most teddy's and a longer head than most bears."

And last but not Least, I exchanged "Nut Cracker" with another attack:

"B-b-b-breaker:
When Edwin is attacked from the front in close combat, with blinding speed he kneels down, and blocks said attack with his backhand. The moment the force of the attack stops, he counters by slamming his other hand down on the attacking limb, and in tact with that, stands up.
It can be used in two ways

A armed attacker:
If the attacker is armed, with a Katana or another weapon with a reach not too big. The steel plates of Scales block the sword, and the attack lands on the hand of the opponent. By the upward going movement he intends to disarm the opponent, which should succeed, unless countered in any way.

Unarmed Attacker:
When the attacker isn't armed, and attacking with any limb of his body, the same technique can be used. Blocking the attack and countering by knocking down on it, and rushing up, would normally break the bone of whoever it is used on, and there lays the attention as well, though it might not always go that way.

This technique utilizes the "Mayor" of Haste, and "Minor" of Power"

And although keeping the Eye of the storm, I changed the description a little:

"The eye of the storm:
If Edwin is in a pinch, with no chance of Dodging, or just feeling like it. He will utilize the intelligence granted to him from birth, to calculate the power of a attack, and then calculating where exactly it is the weakest. He will then proceed to jump straight into the attack, with no fear. Meeting it halfway, and thus be damaged half as much as intended. This he calls “Jumping into the eye of the storm”. This technique utilizes the “mayor” of heart, and the “minor” of intelligence."

I hope this clears it all up, but I am open to constructive criticism. So please say it if anything is wrong with it.

[MOUSE]

APPROVELATED!